Thursday, September 19, 2019
resume :: essays research papers
To: Consumer Reports Online Web Site Customer Relations Department 101 Truman Avenue Yonkers, NY 10703 ere were no laws. Even though this was not illegal it would surely be punished by death if perceived, Winston therefore did all that he could do in secrete. Progressing on with his diary he hears a quite knock on his door, I can imagine him Jumping, and then looking up with a startled glance. He answers the door only to find that it is his neighbor Mrs. Parson, she was having some trouble with her pipes and thought that Winston being a member of the part would be able to help her. Winston however quickly finds himself uncomfortable in Mrs. Parsonââ¬â¢s home. Not because of Mrs. Parson or even because of her telescreen, but rather her children who were much more dangerous than perhaps even the telescreen. They were members of a party led group called the Junior Spies, these ââ¬Å"spiesâ⬠are sent out by Big Brother to catch adults in committing thought crime. He has some fears that he has been caught, and duly writes these things in his journal. The next morning his dreams awake him before the alarm from the telescreen, it was time for his exercises and as he exercised he thought about history. Real history not the over baked and watered down crap that the Party fed everyone. He could remember nothing of Big Brother before 1960, but now it seem that records of his acted had materialized as far back as the thirtyââ¬â¢s. As he is thinking he must have slacked off because he is scolded by a voice from the inside of his telescreen. Winston works in the records department of the Ministry of Truth, his job is to correct ââ¬Å"flawsâ⬠in history that incriminate the partyââ¬â¢s leader Big Brother. The extent of altering goes from the most extreme action of deleting events in the records; to the simple and quite mundane task of simply changing the name of someone mentioned. Winston is starting to get tired of lying for a living. He then retires for lunch and discuses the nature of Oceaniaââ¬â¢s new official language called ââ¬Å"Newspeakâ⬠, it seems that the goal of this new language is to completely rule out all possibility of rebellion by eliminating words that pertain to independent thought and action.
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Abnormal Psychology and Othello Essay -- Othello essays
To what extent is the science of abnormal psychology involved in the characterization in William Shakespeareââ¬â¢s tragic drama Othello? This essay will answer that question. Blanche Coles in Shakespeareââ¬â¢s Four Giants affirms the Bardââ¬â¢s commitment to abnormal psychology, and his employment of same in this play: That Shakespeare was keenly interested in the study of the abnormal mind is commonly accepted among students. [. . .] The suggestion that Iago may have been intentionally drawn as a psychopathic personality is not new. [. . .] Even a casual scrutiny of a book on case histories of psychopathic patients will find Iago peeping out from many of its pages. Still more, Iagoââ¬â¢s name will be found appearing occasionally in bold print in books on abnormal psychology.(89-90) Evidence of the ancientââ¬â¢s psychopathic personality is seen early in the play. He manipulates the wealthy Roderigo into awakening the senator Brabantio (ââ¬Å"Rouse him: make after him, poison his delightâ⬠); and then he utters very offensive smutty lines about a black ram and white ewe, which indicate the way his sick mind operates. He seems to be motivated by love of money which he has been receiving from Roderigo for some time (ââ¬Å"thou, Iago, who hast had my purse / As if the strings were thineâ⬠). Iago himself says that he is motivated by revenge on the Moor (ââ¬Å"I follow him to serve my turn upon himâ⬠) because of the promotion of Michael Cassio to the lieutenancy. But regardless of the question of motivation, it is a fact that Iago hasnââ¬â¢t a single true friend in the play; in his disordered personality he can only manipulate or use people; he is incapable of loving them. His manipulation of his general repeats time and again from the first mee ting: Nay, but he... ...à à à To the Propontic and the Hellespont, à à à à Even so my bloody thoughts, with violent pace, à à à à Shall ne'er look back, ne'er ebb to humble love, à à à à Till that a capable and wide revenge à à à à Swallow them up. (3.3) Iago is so in control of the generalââ¬â¢s contorted mind that he specifies how the Moor should kill Desdemona: ââ¬Å"Strangle her in her bed, even the bed she hath contaminated.â⬠And the general dutifully responds, ââ¬Å"Excellent good!â⬠The enthusiastic answer causes one to suspect that the ancientââ¬â¢s psychopathology has taken possession of the Moor. à WORKS CITED Shakespeare, William. Othello. In The Electric Shakespeare. Princeton University. 1996. http://www.eiu.edu/~multilit/studyabroad/othello/othello_all.html No line nos. Coles, Blanche. Shakespeareââ¬â¢s Four Giants. Rindge, New Hampshire: Richard Smith Publisher, 1957. à Abnormal Psychology and Othello Essay -- Othello essays To what extent is the science of abnormal psychology involved in the characterization in William Shakespeareââ¬â¢s tragic drama Othello? This essay will answer that question. Blanche Coles in Shakespeareââ¬â¢s Four Giants affirms the Bardââ¬â¢s commitment to abnormal psychology, and his employment of same in this play: That Shakespeare was keenly interested in the study of the abnormal mind is commonly accepted among students. [. . .] The suggestion that Iago may have been intentionally drawn as a psychopathic personality is not new. [. . .] Even a casual scrutiny of a book on case histories of psychopathic patients will find Iago peeping out from many of its pages. Still more, Iagoââ¬â¢s name will be found appearing occasionally in bold print in books on abnormal psychology.(89-90) Evidence of the ancientââ¬â¢s psychopathic personality is seen early in the play. He manipulates the wealthy Roderigo into awakening the senator Brabantio (ââ¬Å"Rouse him: make after him, poison his delightâ⬠); and then he utters very offensive smutty lines about a black ram and white ewe, which indicate the way his sick mind operates. He seems to be motivated by love of money which he has been receiving from Roderigo for some time (ââ¬Å"thou, Iago, who hast had my purse / As if the strings were thineâ⬠). Iago himself says that he is motivated by revenge on the Moor (ââ¬Å"I follow him to serve my turn upon himâ⬠) because of the promotion of Michael Cassio to the lieutenancy. But regardless of the question of motivation, it is a fact that Iago hasnââ¬â¢t a single true friend in the play; in his disordered personality he can only manipulate or use people; he is incapable of loving them. His manipulation of his general repeats time and again from the first mee ting: Nay, but he... ...à à à To the Propontic and the Hellespont, à à à à Even so my bloody thoughts, with violent pace, à à à à Shall ne'er look back, ne'er ebb to humble love, à à à à Till that a capable and wide revenge à à à à Swallow them up. (3.3) Iago is so in control of the generalââ¬â¢s contorted mind that he specifies how the Moor should kill Desdemona: ââ¬Å"Strangle her in her bed, even the bed she hath contaminated.â⬠And the general dutifully responds, ââ¬Å"Excellent good!â⬠The enthusiastic answer causes one to suspect that the ancientââ¬â¢s psychopathology has taken possession of the Moor. à WORKS CITED Shakespeare, William. Othello. In The Electric Shakespeare. Princeton University. 1996. http://www.eiu.edu/~multilit/studyabroad/othello/othello_all.html No line nos. Coles, Blanche. Shakespeareââ¬â¢s Four Giants. Rindge, New Hampshire: Richard Smith Publisher, 1957. Ã
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
College Students and Suicide
College Students and Suicide College Students and Suicide By contrast, only 15. 3 percent of Americans overall have had such thoughts, the World Health Organizationââ¬â¢s World Mental Health Survey Initiative reported last February. The survey, part of a wider-ranging continuing study on student suicidal behaviors being conducted by David Drum, a professor of education psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, questioned 26,000 undergraduate and graduate students at 70 U. S. institutions. The results raise the startling suggestion that suicidal thoughts could be a common experience on par with substance abuse, depression and eating disorders, Drum said. The survey defined considering suicide as having at least one episode of suicidal thinking at some point. Slightly more than half of students said they fit that category, which is known as suicide ideation. When researchers asked about more serious episodes, 15 percent said they had ââ¬Å"seriously consideredâ⬠attempting suicide. More than 5 percent of students said they had actually attempted suicide, which is the second-leading cause of death for college students, compared to its ranking of ninth among the U. S. population at large, according to the National Alliance on Mental Health. 2 ââ¬Å"Relief from emotional or physical painâ⬠was the top reason students cited for suicidal thinking, followed by problems with romantic relationships. A generalized desire to end their lives was next, followed by problems with school or academics. The study extrapolated that at an average college with 18,000 undergraduate students, 1,080 of them would seriously contemplate taking their lives in any year, numbers that pose troubling issues for college administrators. The survey identified growing levels of distress among college students and diminishing resources to handle the consequences. They found that half of students who had had suicidal thoughts never sought counseling or treatment. We know only a quarter of suicide patients are our clients, which means 75 percent of them never come through our doors,â⬠said Chris Brownson, director of the Counseling and Mental Health Center at the University of Texas. Drum and other researchers said colleges needed a new model, shifting the emphasis from narrowly focused treatments involving suicidal students and a small number of mental health professionals, to one hat involved the entire campus in addressing student stresses. Suicide is a public and mental issue. The focus on dec reasing the numbers needs to be on prevention, building resilience in students and creating supportive communities. In college students, the warning signs of depression which ultimately leads to suicide are, a previous suicide attempt, talking about suicide, and drug or alcohol abuse
Monday, September 16, 2019
Data Warehouse Case Study Essay
History of the CDR When the project began in 1995ââ¬â96, the CDR, initially referred to as the ââ¬Å"clinical research database,â⬠was intended to support and enhance clinical research at the University of Virginia by providing clinicians, students, and researchers with direct, rapid access to retrospective clinical and administrative patient data. Re? ecting this intent, the system was funded by the School of Medicine and housed in the Academic Computing Health Sciences group, which is distinct from the medical centerââ¬â¢s IT group. With considerable assistance and cooperation from data owners and stewards, legacy data from several different sources were loaded into a single relational database and periodically updated. Authorized users accessed the CDR through a standard Web browser and viewed or downloaded data to their personal computers for further analysis. Initially, emphasis was placed on getting the CDR running as quickly as possible and with a minimum of resources; consequently, extensive transformation of data to an enterprise data model was not performed. The CDR project team consists of 2. 5ââ¬â3. 0 FTEs (full-time equivalents)ââ¬â one developer, one developer-database administrator, and portions of analyst, clinician, and administrative FTEs. To date, the costs of developing and operating the CDR have been approximately $200,000 per year, underwritten by the School of Medicine. Over the course of the project, there have been signi? cant enhancements to the user interface, incorporation of additional data sources, and the development of an integrated data model. There has also been increasing interest in using the CDR to serve a broader audience than researchers and to support management and administrative functionsââ¬âââ¬Å"to meet the challenge of providing a way for anyone with a need to knowââ¬âat every level of the organizationââ¬âaccess to accurate and timely data necessary to support effective decision making, clinical research, and process improvement. In the area of education, the CDR has become a core teaching resource for the Department of Health Evaluation Scienceââ¬â¢s masterââ¬â¢s program and for the School of Nursing. Students use the CDR to understand and master informatics issues such as data capture, vocabularies, and coding, as well as to perform Case Study: A Data Warehouse for an Academic Medical Center 167 exploratory analyses of healthcare questions. Starting in Spring 2001, the CDR will also be introduced into the universityââ¬â¢s undergraduate medical curriculum. System Description Following is a brief overview of the CDR application as it exists at the University of Virginia. System Architecture. The CDR is a relational data warehouse that resides on a Dell PowerEdge 1300 (Dual Intel 400MHz processors, 512MB RAM) running the Linux operating system and Sybase 11. 9. 1 relational database management system. For storage, the system uses a Dell Powervault 201S 236GB RAID Disk Array. As of October 2000, the database contained 23GB of information about 5. 4 million patient visits (16GB visit data, 7GB laboratory results). Data loading into Sybase is achieved using custom Practical Extraction and Report Language (Perl) programs. CDR Contents. The CDR currently draws data from four independent systems (see Table 1). In addition, a number of derived values (for example, number of days to next inpatient visit, number of times a diagnostic code is used in various settings) are computed to provide summary information for selected data elements. Data from each of these source systems are integrated into the CDRââ¬â¢s data model. In addition to the current contents listed in Table 1, users and the CDR project team have identi? ed additional data elements that might be incorporated Table 1. Contents of the CDR Type of Data Inpatient, outpatient visits Source of Data Shared Medical Systems Description Patient registration and demographic data, diagnoses, procedures, unit and census information, billing transactions, including medications, costs, charges, reimbursement, insurance information Physician billing transactions from inpatient and outpatient visits, diagnoses, and procedures Laboratory test results Available Dates Jul 1993ââ¬âJun 2000 Professional billing Laboratory results Cardiac surgery IDX billing system HL-7 messages from SunQuest Lab System Cardiac surgery outcomes data (de? ned by Society of Thoracic Surgeons Oct 1992ââ¬âJun 2000 Jan 1996ââ¬âJun 2000 Clinical details for thoracic surgery cases Jul 1993ââ¬âJun 2000 168 Einbinder, Scully, Pates, Schubart, Reynolds into the CDR, including microbiology results, discharge summaries (and other narrative data), outpatient prescribing information, order entry details, and tumor registry information. As of October 2000, we have just ? nished incorporating death registry data from the Virginia Department of Health into the CDR. These data will provide our users with direct access to more comprehensive mortality outcomes data than are contained in local information systems, which generally are restricted to an in-hospital death indicator. User Interface. The user interface runs in a standard Web browser and consists of a data dictionary, a collection of common gateway interface (CGI) programs implemented using the ââ¬Å"Câ⬠programming language, and JavaScriptenabled HTML pages. Structured query language (SQL) statements are generated automatically in response to point-and-click actions by the user, enabling submission of ad hoc queries without prior knowledge of SQL. The SQL queries are sent to the CGI programs that query the database and return results in dynamically created HTML pages. The entire process is controlled by the contents of the data dictionary, which is used to format SQL results, set up HTML links for data drill-down, and provide on-line help. Data may be downloaded immediately into Microsoft Excel or another analysis tool on the userââ¬â¢s workstation. Query Formulation. Most CDR users use the Guided Query function to retrieve data. This process involves three steps: 1. De? ne a population of interest by setting conditions, for example, date ranges, diagnostic codes, physician identi? ers, service locations, and lab test codes or values. 2. Submit the query, specifying how much data the CDR should return (all matching data or a speci? ed number of rows). 3. After the CDR returns the population of interest, use the Report Menu to explore various attributes of the population on a case-by-case or group level. Custom reports can also be de? ned, and the results of any report can be downloaded into Microsoft Excel, Access, or other analysis tool. Generally, the query process requires several iterations to modify the population conditions or report options. In addition, ââ¬Å"browsingâ⬠the data may help the user generate ideas for additional queries. We believe that it is helpful for end users to go through this query process themselvesââ¬âto directly engage the data. However, many users, especially those with a pressing need for data for a meeting, report, or grant, prefer to use CDR team members as intermediaries or analysts. To date, we have attempted to meet this preference, but as query volume increases, our ability to provide data in a timely manner may fall off. Security. A steering committee of clinicians guided the initial development of the CDR and established policies for its utilization and access. Only authorized users may log onto the CDR. To protect con? dentiality, all patient and physician identifying information has been partitioned into a ââ¬Å"secureâ⬠Case Study: A Data Warehouse for an Academic Medical Center 169 database. Translation from or to disguised identi? ers to or from actual identi? ers is possible but requires a written request and appropriate approval (for example, from a supervisor or the human investigations committee). All data transmitted from the database server to the userââ¬â¢s browser are encrypted using the secure Netscape Web server, and all accesses to the database are logged. In addition, CDR access is restricted to personal computers that are part of the ââ¬Å"Virginia. eduâ⬠domain or that are authenticated by the universityââ¬â¢s proxy server. Evaluation Understanding user needs is the basis for improving the CDR to enable users to retrieve the data independently and to increase usage of the CDR at our institution. Thus, assessing the value of the CDRââ¬âhow well we meet our usersââ¬â¢ needs and how we might increase our user baseââ¬âhas been an important activity that has helped guide planning for changes and enhancements and for allocation of our limited resources. Efforts to evaluate the CDR have included several approaches: â⬠¢ Monitoring user population and usage patterns â⬠¢ Administering a CDR user survey â⬠¢ Tracking queries submitted to the CDR and performing follow-up telephone interviews Usage Statistics. Voluntary usage of an IS resource is an important measure of its value and of user satisfaction. 5 However, usage of a data warehouse is likely to be quite different than for other types of information resources, such as clinical information systems. A clinical system is likely to be used many times per day; a data warehouse may be used sporadically. Thus, although we monitor system usage as a measure of the CDRââ¬â¢s value, we believe that frequency of usage cannot be viewed in isolation in assessing the success of a data warehouse. Since the CDR went ââ¬Å"live,â⬠more than 300 individuals have requested and obtained logon IDs. As of September 30, 2000, 213 individuals had logged on and submitted at least one query. This number does not include usage by CDR project team members and does not re? ect analyses performed by team members for end users. Figure 1 shows the cumulative number of active users (those who submitted a query) and demonstrates a linear growth pattern.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
Succubus Dreams CHAPTER 13
ââ¬Å"I'm really not a serial killer. It just seemed like too good a chance to pass up.â⬠ââ¬Å"Man,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"If I had a dime for every time I heard thatâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Liam, the guy who'd bought me at the auction, laughed and opened the car door for me. He drove a shiny black Lotus Elise that he'd had imported from the UK. I found that impressive. It appeared to have just been freshly washed. I found that impressive too ââ¬â and a little sad since it looked like it was going to rain at any moment. ââ¬Å"It's supposed to be really good, though,â⬠he added, starting up the engine. ââ¬Å"So, I hope you'll like it and not think it's too demented for the holidays.â⬠I hadn't been keen on following up with my charity date, but I'd known it would have to happen sooner or later. When Liam had called earlier to say he'd gotten tickets to a dramatic production of three Edgar Allan Poe stories tonight, I figured it was as good a time as any to get it over with. Besides, I liked Poe. It was kind of a creepy date to have around the happiest time of the year, true, but that would be the theater's fault, not Liam's. It was an early show, so we planned to attend first and catch dinner later. On the drive there, he turned out to be a lot like I'd expected. Intelligent. Nice. Moderately funny. He worked for an investment company downtown and had enough sense not to bore me with the details. We traded light banter, sharing anecdotes and experiences. I still would have rather been with Seth, but Liam was a fine guy for one night, and I figured he should have a fun time after donating so much money. The play was about as twisted as I'd hoped. They started with ââ¬Å"The Masque of the Red Death,â⬠followed by ââ¬Å"The Cask of Amontillado.â⬠ââ¬Å"The Tell-Tale Heartâ⬠closed the night off because honestly, what sort of Poe festivities would be complete without that crowd pleaser? ââ¬Å"I've never heard of ââ¬ËThe Masque of the Red Death,'â⬠Liam said afterwards. We'd decided to leave the car and walk the six blocks to the restaurant he had reservations at. ââ¬Å"I read the others in high school. I guess it's some kind of allegory about how you can't escape death, huh? You can lock yourself away, but it doesn't work.â⬠ââ¬Å"More than an allegory, actually,â⬠I mused. ââ¬Å"Historically, that wasn't an uncommon way for people to deal with plague and disease. Lock themselves up. Or else leave town and run away. Sometimes they'd throw the sick people out of town and lock the doors, so to speak.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's horrible,â⬠said Liam. We stepped inside the restaurant, a small Italian one that was almost always booked. I had to admit, he was doing a good job with this date thing. ââ¬Å"People didn't know any better,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"They didn't know what caused diseases, and aside from good hygiene and luck, there were few treatments for ancient and medieval epidemics.â⬠ââ¬Å"That auctioneer didn't say anything about you being a history buff,â⬠he teased. ââ¬Å"Yeah? Would you not have bid?â⬠ââ¬Å"Are you kidding? A beautiful woman who uses the words ââ¬Ëancient and medieval epidemics' on the first date? I would have bid more.â⬠I grinned and let the maitre d' lead us to our table. I was glad Liam appreciated my historical knowledge, but I'd have to be careful not to get too nerdy. I knew more than the average girl should and could get into levels of detail that modern people had no way of knowing about. I shifted to something else. ââ¬Å"Well, I think the auctioneer was kind of distracted by the other contestants.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, you mean the feminazi who went before you?â⬠I frowned. ââ¬Å"No, I mean the giant blonde in silver that he bid on.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, yeah,â⬠Liam agreed. ââ¬Å"She was crazy. Attractive, but crazy.â⬠ââ¬Å"You actually thought she was pretty?â⬠ââ¬Å"Sure. Not as pretty as you, of course,â⬠he hastily added, mistaking my meaning. ââ¬Å"But the auctioneer apparently thought otherwise. He couldn't keep his hands off of her.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, come on. He barely touched her.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, not during the auction, of course. I mean afterward.â⬠ââ¬Å"What?â⬠I was interrupted when the waiter came by. I had to wait for Liam to order wine before he could finish the story. ââ¬Å"After the auction. I was there helping wrap things up. Deanna's a friend of my ex-wife's. When we all finished, Nick and that blonde were all over each other and left together.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatâ⬠¦that isn't possible.â⬠Tawny had said they'd left separately. There was no way she and Nick could have been hot and heavy the night of the auction. The following night had been when she showed up for the dance lesson. Even if she was lying about things falling apart with Nick ââ¬â and really, why would she? ââ¬â she'd obviously had no recent energy fix. Massive shape-shifting, on the scale of nonhuman shapes, could burn through energy that quickly, but a new succubus wouldn't have that skill yet. None of this made sense. Liam, obviously, didn't catch my confusion. ââ¬Å"Why's it so hard to believe?â⬠he asked. I shook my head. ââ¬Å"It'sâ⬠¦never mind. I hope they had a great time. Nowâ⬠¦what kind of wine did you order? I missed it.â⬠Not wanting to ruin dinner, I put the Tawny conundrum into a holding bin in my mind and did my best to give Liam his seventeen-hundred-dollars worth. When dinner ended, we walked back toward his car, enjoying a leisurely pace. The weather, though damp, had warmed to about fifty. Seattle's fickle winters did that sometimes, only to freeze up a day or so later. When Liam slipped his hand into mine, I let him, but it presented me with a dilemma. He was no one I really planned on seeing again. As a courtesy to Seth and an attempt at a normal life, I avoided casual affairs in this body. All of those reasons meant I shouldn't let the night escalate into anything more than a friendly handshake good-bye. But suddenly, I was feeling the loss of my energy. It had felt so good to have Simon's ââ¬â yet it had been stripped from me before I could even do anything with it. It'd be so nice to have that feeling back, to go home with Liam and get what I needed. When we reached his car, he kept holding my hand and turned me so that I faced him. ââ¬Å"What now?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"I don't know.â⬠I was still torn on what to do. ââ¬Å"I'm open to suggestion.â⬠Liam smiled, a cute smile that showed in his blue eyes too. ââ¬Å"Well, how about this?â⬠He leaned down and kissed me, much as Dante had nearly done. Oh, Liam. Liam was a good man. A good, good man. Seth caliber. The moment our lips touched, I felt the sweetness of his life energy trickling into me. My desire woke up, and I pressed myself to him. I might not like to use this body, but these were unusual circumstances. I made my decision. I'd sleep with him and part ways. He was a nice guy, not a psycho stalker. He might be disappointed, but he wouldn't give me grief for wanting to be friends in the morning. He kissed me harder, pushing me against the side of the car. All that energy from just one kiss. The sex was going to be great. Yes, yes. More. Get more. Feed me. I jerked away from Liam. He looked down at me, legitimately concerned. ââ¬Å"What's the matter?â⬠It had been a whisper in my head. Faint but real. It had been paired with a longing, a deep longing for Liam's energy that rivaled my own need ââ¬â but it hadn't been mine. It had belonged to someone ââ¬â or something ââ¬â else. Suddenly, it all came back to me. The conversations with Dante and Erik. Some creature preying on me and stealing my energy. True, it was what I did to menâ⬠¦but, well, I couldn't help how I felt. And just then, I felt nauseous at the thought of some parasitic creature coming to me tonight because I was full of energy. It made my skin crawl. Bad enough this thing was using me. It was also using me to use Liam. I looked back at him; he was so cute and so nice. I shook my head. I couldn't do this. I needed the energy, but I was going to put if off as long as possible. I wouldn't give this thing what it wanted. ââ¬Å"Liamâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I said slowly. ââ¬Å"I should tell you something. I, um, just recently got out of a long relationship, and I went to the auction because I thought I could, you knowâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ He sighed, not appearing angry so much as regretful. ââ¬Å"You aren't ready.â⬠I shook my head. ââ¬Å"I'm really sorry. I wanted to help at the auction, and I thought I could move on.â⬠He squeezed the hand he was still holding and released it. ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠¦I'm sad, but I understand. And I like youâ⬠¦if we went out, I'd like to work on something serious. That can't happen until you're ready, and I'd never want to force you.â⬠Oh, God. Nice, nice guy. ââ¬Å"I'm so, so sorry,â⬠I said. I meant it. I so wanted his energy. ââ¬Å"Nothing to be sorry about,â⬠he told me, smiling. ââ¬Å"Come on, I'll take you home.â⬠He returned me to Queen Anne, and I kissed him on the cheek before leaving the car. He told me to call him when I was ready to date again, and I told him I would. Once he was gone, I didn't go inside. Instead, I called Dante. ââ¬Å"It's your favorite succubus,â⬠I said when he answered. I heard him yawn. ââ¬Å"Debatable. What do you want? It's late.â⬠ââ¬Å"I need to talk to you. Something weird happened.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm in bed, succubus. Unless you plan on joining me, I'd rather not receive visitors right now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Please, Dante. It's important.â⬠He sighed. ââ¬Å"Fine, come on over.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't know where you live.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course you do. You've been here a gazillion times.â⬠ââ¬Å"You live in your store?â⬠ââ¬Å"Why would I want to pay rent for two different places?â⬠I drove down to the shop. The sign read CLOSED, but there was a faint light inside. Dante opened the door when I knocked. He wore jeans and a plain T-shirt, nothing unusual, but the disheveled hair suggested he had indeed been in bed. ââ¬Å"Sorry,â⬠I told him. ââ¬Å"Maybe I should have waited.â⬠ââ¬Å"Too late for regrets. Come on in.â⬠He led me through the storefront, back to the small door I usually saw closed. On the other side was a large room that appeared to be a combination living space, office, supply closet, andâ⬠¦workshop. ââ¬Å"Erik was right,â⬠I said, walking over to a high set of shelves. They were filled with jars and bottles of herbs and unidentifiable liquids. ââ¬Å"You are a magician.â⬠I considered. ââ¬Å"Or at least you're pretending to be.â⬠ââ¬Å"No faith in me. Probably smart.â⬠He pointed to a bean bag chair and a plaid ottoman. ââ¬Å"Take your pick if you don't want the bed.â⬠I chose the ottoman. ââ¬Å"Well, it's not that I don't trust youâ⬠¦but everything else you do is a scam. Of course, Erik has to hate you for something legitimate, and he wouldn't have sent me to you in the first place if you didn't have some kind of skill.â⬠ââ¬Å"Interesting logic. Maybe he hates me for my charming personality.â⬠He rubbed his eyes and yawned again. With the motion of his arm, I noticed faint punctures in the middle of his arm that I'd never seen with long sleeves. ââ¬Å"Maybe he hates you for your vices.â⬠Dante looked at where I was staring. He shrugged, unconcerned. ââ¬Å"Nah, Lancaster has better things to worry about than a casual hit now and then.â⬠ââ¬Å"From my experience, there's no such thing as a casual hit.â⬠ââ¬Å"What, are you here to do an intervention now, succubus?â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I admitted. I had neither time nor interest to reform Dante. ââ¬Å"But I heard a voice tonight.â⬠ââ¬Å"I heard a voice too. It called and woke me up.â⬠ââ¬Å"Dante!â⬠Angrily, I explained the situation. A hint of his sarcastic smile remained, but otherwise, he actually seemed concerned. ââ¬Å"Huh. Interesting. It actually raised its ugly head.â⬠ââ¬Å"What do you think that means?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not a clue until we know what it is. The only thing I can guess is that it was desperate for some reason. Until now, it's done a pretty good job at hiding itself ââ¬â aside from your energy loss, obviously.â⬠He brightened a little. ââ¬Å"I don't suppose it's here now, urging you to jump me?â⬠ââ¬Å"Sorry.â⬠ââ¬Å"Ah, well. I'm probably not as good a catch as Seventeen-hundred-dollar Man. Your predator has standards.â⬠I shuddered, hating the idea that I actually had a predator. I looked up at Dante and must have looked truly pathetic because a startled look crossed his features. ââ¬Å"Dante, you have to help me. I know we don't have the answers yetâ⬠¦but, well, I'm scared of this thing. I can't bring myself to take a victim because I'm afraid of this monster coming back. I don't even want to go to sleep.â⬠His gray eyes assessed me, and to my astonishment, he almost looked gentle. It completely transformed him. ââ¬Å"Ah, succubus. You can sleep tonight. No energy, no visit. I doubt the kiss was enough of a lure.â⬠ââ¬Å"But eventuallyâ⬠¦eventually I'll have to get another fixâ⬠¦and until I'm able to talk to Jerome about all thisâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Well, I could maybe make you a charm or something. Protection to ward this thing away.â⬠ââ¬Å"You can do that?â⬠I tried to keep the skepticism out of my voice but failed. His face turned wry once more. ââ¬Å"If you don't want the helpâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"No! I do. I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. I asked for your help, then backed off.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, as you said, I haven't inspired much faith in you.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll take whatever help I can get,â⬠I said honestly. He stood up and stretched, then walked over to his shelves, studying their contents. ââ¬Å"You sure about that? You might not like what I have to do to make this. How badly do you want it?â⬠I thought about that voice, that creature's need inside my head. ââ¬Å"Pretty badly. Provided you don't, like, give me a necklace made out of goat entrails, I think we're good.â⬠His eyes were still on his shelves and jars. Several moments passed while he considered. ââ¬Å"I'm going to need some time on this, I'm afraid. It'd be a lot easier if I knew what it was we're dealing with. Without that, I've got to try to make some sort of catch-all charm that may or may not work. The broad spectrum ones are always hard, too.â⬠ââ¬Å"So nothing tonight.â⬠He strolled back over to me. ââ¬Å"You're fine tonight, remember? Of course, you're welcome to stay here, and I'll stay awake and make sure nothing happens to you.â⬠I couldn't help a smile. ââ¬Å"Just like Kayla.â⬠ââ¬Å"Who?â⬠ââ¬Å"My boyfriend's nieceâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I'd nearly forgotten about our weird conversation. ââ¬Å"She said some funny things. But I don't know if it was just kid imaginings or if she maybe has some kind of psychic ability.â⬠ââ¬Å"Fine line with kids,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"If she has any powers, I'm sure science and discipline will work them out of her. What'd she say?â⬠ââ¬Å"She said that I was ââ¬Ëmagic.' And that there were monsters in the air who got into people's dreams.â⬠When he didn't respond, I exclaimed, ââ¬Å"Do you think she could help with this?â⬠He shook his head. ââ¬Å"No. If she is psychic or gifted or whatever, she's too young and inexperienced to know what she's perceiving to be of any real use.â⬠ââ¬Å"But she could be sensing what's following me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sure. If she's a really astute psychic, she'd be sensitive to anomalies in the magical and spiritual worlds.â⬠Interesting. Tiny little Kayla, possibly with the potential for great spiritual powers some day. ââ¬Å"What's your advice?â⬠ââ¬Å"Huh?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"For someone like her. To develop her abilities and make sure science and discipline don't beat it out of her.â⬠ââ¬Å"My advice?â⬠He gave a harsh laugh. ââ¬Å"Let them beat it out of her. You'll be doing her a favor.â⬠I sat quietly for a long time, studying my feet. When I finally looked back up at him, I asked, ââ¬Å"Why are you so unhappy?â⬠ââ¬Å"Who says I'm unhappy? I make money by doing nothing.â⬠I gestured around. ââ¬Å"Everything says you're unhappy. Your attitude. Your arm. The pile of beer bottles over there. The fact that even though you claim I annoy you, you keep helping me and always seem glad to have me around.â⬠ââ¬Å"Misery loves company. You aren't exactly all that chipper yourself.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm very happy with my life,â⬠I argued. ââ¬Å"Well, then, go back to it, and let me sleep.â⬠In a not too subtle signal, he walked over to the door and opened it. ââ¬Å"I'll work on your charm and get back to you.â⬠I started to snap back at the abrupt dismissal, but he looked so weary, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides, I knew I'd been right. Dante Moriarty was a very unhappy man who used sarcasm and substances to hide it. I wondered what it was that plagued him so much ââ¬â what it was that had darkened his soul. ââ¬Å"Are you ever going to tell me why Erik hates you so much?â⬠I asked quietly. Dante pointed at the door. ââ¬Å"Good night, succubus. Sweet dreams.ââ¬
Saturday, September 14, 2019
Kabuki Theatre: Japan’s National Treasure
Aliya Crochetiere Mrs. Crass Theater History April 11, 2011 Kabuki Theatre: Japanââ¬â¢s National Treasure Kabuki Theater has captured the hearts and minds of the Japanese audience from its beginnings over four centuries ago to the present day. In Kabuki wild spectacles of song and dance transpire, different from anything familiar to the Western observer. Its color, drama, and richness of costumes and characters contrast wildly with the simplicity and functionality of which the Japanese people live their lives. Kabuki Theater seen today has been shaped by historical tensions about women, religious influences in Japanese society, and is considered to be the peopleââ¬â¢s theater filled with unique styles and ideas. In order to understand this wild spectacle and its unique techniques of staging and characters, one must look behind the make-up and understand the dramaââ¬â¢s widespread roots deeply intertwined in Japanââ¬â¢s popular culture. The word kabuki, as shown in the history of name, is a type of acting based on the arts of singing and dancing (Miyake 11). However, mixed in this display is a variety of hidden aspects such as make-up, costumes, and special effects that make a Kabuki performance unlike any other. Kabuki is a very complicated, highly refined art involving stylized movement to the sounds of instruments such as the Tsuke that takes many years to master (National Theater of Japan). Unlike Noh Theater it does not use masks, but incorporates a vast variety of styles and effects, from the realistic to the grandiosely extravagant through cosmetics (Leiter 18-22). The colors used have symbolic meanings. For example, blue usually indicates evil and red is used to express strength or virtue. Wigs are utilized to inform the audience about the characters age, occupation, and social status and are worn by all characters in Kabuki (The British Museum). In the theater, each character has a defining moment, called a Mie. The Mie displays the characters personality. The actor assumes a position significant to his character and experiences his climatic moment (Binnie and Wanczura). It usually involves a movement of the head, a crossing of eyes in a powerful glare, and shaking. In this artistic spectacle there are two main styles of acting involved, Aragoto and Wagoto. Aragoto, the rough style, contains heroes who are physically strong, impulsive, fierce, and martial (Brandon). This is reflected in the actors' dramatic, stylized make-up and costumes, and in their exaggerated poses. In contrary, Wagoto features softer, young playboys in more friendly stories. The main manner of Wagoto acting is tender, romantic, or humorous (Encyclop? dia Britannica). Although the styles differ, Kabuki will always be a form of theater that requires a mastery of technique, especially when playing a woman. Unlike Western Theater, Kabuki in the present day features no females on the stage. One feature that sets Kabuki apart from other theater is the Onnagata, a male actor who plays the parts of women. Kabuki was founded in 1603 by Izumo no Okuni, a Japanese princess, with her troop consisting of mostly females (Spencer). The women entertainers, many of whom were prostitutes, performed exotic dances and risque skits causing an instant sensation in Japan with the common people (The British Museum). The idea of women exploiting themselves while creating public messages was preposterous and as its popularity grew, the government was quick to take control of the situation (Lombard, Allen, and Unwin). The prostitution within the theater was believed to be corrupting society and from the 1620's onward, the government attempted to bring them under control. In 1692, women performers were banned from the stage. It soon became necessary for males to take the part of the females and the art of the Onnagata was formed. The Onnagata does not aim to imitate the behavior of a real woman. Rather, he becomes an artificial and idealized symbol of female characteristics as seen from a man's interpretation (Binnie and Wanczura). Those who have mastered the art of the Onnagata have the ability to transform a potentially grotesque situation into an emotionally moving truth. The Onnagata does not rely on facial beauty but the talent and skill to make a room full of people believe the authenticity of a teenage girl played by a 70 year-old man. Today, as a result of issues of women corrupting society and the upper class, females have yet to re-appear on the stage. However, because Kabuki is directed at the common people of Japan, it is believed that women will once again grace the stages of Kabuki (Matsuda). Though Kabuki today is generally more accepted as a National Theater of Japan, it originated from the middle class, the common people of Japan, as a way to express their suppressed feelings under restrictive social conditions (Lombard, Allen, and Unwin). At the time when Kabuki was developed, distinction between the commoners and the upper class was more rigid than ever before, so Kabuki acted as a safe means of protest against dramatic and social conventions. Multiple times it was banned from the inner cities because it threatened with dangerous thought and popular freedom (Lombard, Allen, and Unwin). Kabuki was charged with undermining the morals of the warrior class, yet the government was unable to outlaw the theater completely. It had made its way into the social lives of the Japanese people as it developed eclectically from other art forms. As the peopleââ¬â¢s theater, Kabuki has a very unique relationship between the actors and the audience. The most celebrated feature of the Kabuki stage is the hanamichi, a long extension from the back of the audience to the stage (Scott 18). This symbolizes the close connections that the actors have with the viewers. A continuous interplay of shouts from the audience and reactions from the actors take place in the Kabuki Theater. The show is often interrupted for an actor to address the crowd, which is responded to with praise and encouragement (Encyclop? dia Britannica). The audience hollers the name of their favorite actor, showing a much closer connection to the actors than the directors (Matsuda). For the first time, the actor is in a position of control of his own actions and originality. Because Kabuki programs run from dusk till dawn, in the theater one can find restaurants, lunchboxes, and snack shops. The audience will eat, drink, and talk all during the performance, treating it much more like a social gathering than a trip to the theater (Miyake 25). Unlike western theater a trip to Kabuki is supposed to a social gathering. The audience enjoys the whole dayââ¬â¢s event, not just the individual performances. This is in sharp contrast to Noh Theater, a much more serious and formal theater of Japan that incorporates slow, meditational movements under extremely rigid rules (Matsuda). The Noh performance is in slow motion and is much more popular with the military class than the common people of Japan (Mitchell and Watanabe 1-5). Buddhism, Shintoism, and Confucianism have all had a weighty effect on Japanese philosophies of life. This in turn is reflected in Kabuki drama in an innumerable number of ways. Action in Kabuki plays usually revolves around Confucian notions of filial piety duty and obligation, and the Buddhist traditions such as the impermanence of things or the law of retributive justice (Scott 28). The religious part of the drama is expressed through actions and characters, such as the komuso, who wears a large basket-like head covering and plays a flute (Scott 28). The komuso, who appears in multiple plays, is a religious figure in Buddhism, a priest of the Buddhist sect seen preaching about the religion with his flute. During the Edo period when Kabuki was developed, Confucian philosophy defining the hierarchy of social relations was recognized as official thought and caused an uprising of the common townspeople expressed in Kabuki Theater (Ernst 14). A favorite Kabuki technique is to have a dying man recall and regret all past misconducts and return to his innocent state by time of death (Scott 28). This extends to the Buddhist philosophy that man is fundamentally good and all sins committed during his lifetime are purged upon death. This as well as many other examples shows strong Buddhist influences in Kabuki. Shintoism shines through the drama as well. As one of the most common religions in Japan, Shintoism was also the religion of Kabukiââ¬â¢s founder (Spencer). Many religious ideas and themes are apparent in both historical and domestic Kabuki plays. Kabuki Theater, flamboyant and spectacular, has evolved into one of Japanââ¬â¢s cultural treasures. The drama has developed from controversial ideas of women in society, the religious influences of Buddhism and Confucianism, and from the heart of Japan, the common people, as a free way to express themselves. Although some may argue that Kabuki has lost some of its connection to the general public, Kabuki drama is an irreplaceable aspect of Japanese society that will continue to entertain audiences and influence contemporary drama and Japanese history for years to come. The flashy, colorful spectacle filled with music, movement, and emotion has the ability to take the audience on a journey to a new world. Works Cited Binnie, Paul, and Dieter Wanczura, eds. ââ¬Å"Kabuki Theater. â⬠Artelino. N. p. , 2009. Web. 11 Apr. 2011. ;http://www. artelino. com/? articles/? kabuki_theater. asp;. Brandon, James R. ââ¬Å"Myth and Reality: A Story of ââ¬ËKabukiââ¬â¢ during American Censorship, 1945-1949. â⬠Asian Theatre Journal 23. 1 (2006): 1-110 . JSTOR. Web. 11 Apr. 2011.
Storm Born Chapter Thirteen
ââ¬Å"You're late,â⬠I told him, trying to act like my robe wasn't lying out on the hallway floor. He glanced around, and I couldn't help a small breath of pleasure. Every ounce of him was charged and ready, that muscled body in a fighter's stance. His dark eyes held a hard, savage expression as he assessed for threats. He was magnificent. He looked as though he could have single-handedly torn apart an army then and there. I wrapped my arms around myself, from neither coldness nor modesty. ââ¬Å"I was walking up your driveway and felt somethingâ⬠¦something dark.â⬠His body relaxed, the animal fierceness in his eyes replaced by that smoky sensuality as he seemed to notice for the first time that I was naked. ââ¬Å"A Gray Man. He had to go keep an appointment with Persephone.â⬠Kiyo's lips twitched into a smile. ââ¬Å"Were you in the shower?â⬠ââ¬Å"Sauna. I impaled him with a mirror.â⬠ââ¬Å"Nice.â⬠We stared at each other, a thick tension building up in the air between us. ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠I said finally. ââ¬Å"Thanks for checking in. You can leave now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Eugenie ââ¬â ââ¬Å" My confusion and lust took their rightful backseat to my indignation. ââ¬Å"I have nothing to say to you. I don't want to say anything to you. Get out.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not until I've explained everything.â⬠ââ¬Å"Like what? How you wanted to get me pregnant, just like everyone else?â⬠He blinked, clearly surprised. ââ¬Å"I ââ¬â what? No. Of course not. For Christ's sake, I used a condom.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, I know. I was there.â⬠I could hear the irrational sulkiness in my voice. ââ¬Å"Why else would you have done it, then?â⬠His eyes traveled from my face down my entire body, and then back to my face. ââ¬Å"Why do you think?â⬠I swallowed, attempting to ignore the warmth left from where his gaze had touched me. ââ¬Å"Okay. I get the mechanics of it. But you can't sit there and tell me you being in that bar was a coincidence.â⬠ââ¬Å"No. It wasn't,â⬠he said simply. I waited for more. ââ¬Å"That's it?â⬠He sighed and leaned against the wall. ââ¬Å"I was asked by a friend to find you and mark you so we could keep track of you. I didn't know why; I had no idea who you were at the time.â⬠ââ¬Å"What? Someone told you to sleep with me?â⬠ââ¬Å"Er, no. That was my own, um, improvisation. I could have marked you other ways.â⬠He smiled meaningfully. ââ¬Å"But you were too charming and pretty.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hey! Don't use that fox sex magic on me. It's already caused enough trouble. Who told you to do that? To mark me?â⬠The flirtatious smile disappeared. Silence. ââ¬Å"Look, you're supposed to be the big honesty advocate. If you aren't going to play that way anymore, then I'm going to kick your ass out of here.â⬠A glint of amusement flickered in his eyes. ââ¬Å"I think I'd like that.â⬠He paused. Finally: ââ¬Å"No one you know. Her name is Maiwenn.â⬠ââ¬Å"The Willow Queen.â⬠I took satisfaction in seeing his surprise. ââ¬Å"I know more about the gentry than you think.â⬠ââ¬Å"Apparently. When she found out who you were, she wanted to watch you and find out where you stood on your fath ââ¬â on the Storm King prophecy.â⬠I met his questioning look with incredulity. ââ¬Å"Are you seriously asking me? You think I want to see gentry take over the world?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, not really. But Maiwenn wanted to be sure on your position. She opposed Storm King before and has no desire to see an invasion. She'd rather put resources into the Otherworld, into staying there and making that home.â⬠ââ¬Å"Smart lady,â⬠I said bitterly. ââ¬Å"I wish they'd all stay there.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't knock the Otherworld. It has its appeal.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah? So, what, you consider yourself one of them?â⬠ââ¬Å"I consider myself part of both worlds. It's who I am. It's who you are too.â⬠ââ¬Å"No. I'm not part of that world.â⬠I stared past him without really seeing, suddenly feeling tired. ââ¬Å"Sometimes I don't even feel a part of this world.â⬠He crossed the distance between us and sat down on the bed. Those dark eyes brimmed with concern. ââ¬Å"Don't say that.â⬠I looked away so he wouldn't see my eyes getting wet. ââ¬Å"I don't know what's going on anymore. Everythingâ⬠¦everything's changed. I can't turn around without someone trying to rape me. I can't trust the people I love.â⬠I turned back to him. ââ¬Å"I can't trust you.â⬠His hand reached out and touched my cheek. ââ¬Å"Yes, you can. Eugenie, I didn't sleep with you to get you pregnant. I didn't even sleep with you just because you're hot ââ¬â though that was a definite perk. I liked you. I still like you. I want us to have something.â⬠He'd moved his hand down my neck, to my shoulder, and then to my upper arm. His fingers lazily traced the outline of Hecate's snake. Goosebumps rose on my flesh. ââ¬Å"Don't look at me like that. I don't want to get pregnant.â⬠ââ¬Å"Contraceptive technology is a wonderful thing.â⬠ââ¬Å"I can't be involved with you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠The words hurt coming out. ââ¬Å"Becauseâ⬠¦because of what you areâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ The hand dropped. ââ¬Å"I'm the same ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"I know, I know. The same as me. Kiyo, you've got to understandâ⬠¦. I've got a lot to deal with right now. I justâ⬠¦well, I just can't. Not yet. Maybeâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I looked at him, at the kind and intelligent face, at the smoldering body so close to mine. ââ¬Å"Maybe some day, we canâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ Something on my face must have given away my feelings, that no matter how terrified of getting close to him I was, I still liked him and wanted him. The old mischievous smile appeared on his face, and his hand cupped my chin. He pressed his lips against my cheek. ââ¬Å"Then let me be your friend,â⬠he whispered. I closed my eyes and let his heat envelop me. ââ¬Å"Friends don't breathe in my ear like that.â⬠ââ¬Å"We'll be special friends.â⬠ââ¬Å"Kiyo ââ¬â ââ¬Å" He drew back a little, still smiling. ââ¬Å"Seriously, Eugenie. If we can't be lovers, I still want to be in your life. I want to help you through this. I want to protect you.â⬠I stiffened, and my old snarkiness reared its head through the emotional miasma. ââ¬Å"I don't need protection.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you have any idea how bad it's going to get for you?â⬠ââ¬Å"I've handled it so far. I'll handle it again.â⬠ââ¬Å"God, you're amazing.â⬠His spoke with admiration. ââ¬Å"But you're also annoyingly difficult. Let someone help you. Let me help you.â⬠I stared stonily ahead. His expression darkened. ââ¬Å"They're going to come after you! Do you think I can just sit around when people are trying to hurt and rape you?â⬠The heat in his voice seared me. He wasn't angry at me; he was angry for me. He regarded me in a way no one had ever looked at me before, an expression that said I meant so much to him that he would take on hell itself to protect me. That intensity wrapped around me. It thrilled me. It scared me. I didn't know what to do with it. Again, he read my face. This time, he pulled me over, crushing my body against his. I didn't fight it. ââ¬Å"Let me help you,â⬠he repeated. ââ¬Å"How? You live an hour and a half away.â⬠He pressed his face against my hair. ââ¬Å"I'll commute.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh for God's ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"I mean it. I know I can't be with you all the time, but I'll do what I can.â⬠ââ¬Å"You're going to trail me like a bodyguard or something?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll do it as a fox if it makes you feel better.â⬠I laughed in spite of myself, tightening my hold on him. I knew we shouldn't be locked in this kind of embrace, but honestlyâ⬠¦after everything that had happened, it was comforting. And a turn-on too. But mostly comforting. ââ¬Å"What's that like anyway?â⬠ââ¬Å"What's what like?â⬠ââ¬Å"Being a fox. Is it weird?â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't know. I've always been that way. It's the only thing I know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, butâ⬠¦why not just stay human all the time?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm stronger as a fox. Comes in handy in a fight.â⬠ââ¬Å"You're not too shabby as a human.â⬠ââ¬Å"Women think foxes are cute.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not that cute,â⬠I grumbled. I could sense his smile. ââ¬Å"It's a good way to let your instincts take over.â⬠ââ¬Å"Which instincts?â⬠In one movement, he had me flipped onto my back. His hands held mine down while his body pressed against the rest of me. Those lips hovered a few breaths from mine. ââ¬Å"All of them,â⬠he growled. My breath was coming out in rapid bursts, and a voice in the back of my head was yelling, Hey! Remember how you don't want to be involved with Otherworldly people? I knew that voice was right, but it was kind of hard to pay attention when my body was melting against his and one of his hands had slid down to the side of a breast. ââ¬Å"I don't think friends are supposed to lay like this.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Or bodyguards.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Or veterinarians.â⬠ââ¬Å"That I disagree with.â⬠He crushed his mouth to mine, and it was powerful and ravenous and furious and wonderful. I couldn't think or do anything coherent in that moment, only let him keep kissing me and kissing me. At last he broke away. He sat up, and I could see his body tremble. The look in his eyes was still hungry and yearning, and there was a visible struggle within him, a warring of two halves. One must have won, because he took a deep breath, and that animal need faded ââ¬â slightly ââ¬â from him. ââ¬Å"I need to go,â⬠he said at last. ââ¬Å"I've got to work in two hours.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay.â⬠We stared at each other for a long time. I pulled a sheet up, letting it cover part of me. A grin lit his features. ââ¬Å"Thanks. That helps.â⬠He stood up and moved toward the door. ââ¬Å"Hey, would you mind meeting Maiwenn? She wants to talk to you in person, see what you're like.â⬠ââ¬Å"You seem pretty chummy with her,â⬠I said. The words came out sharper than I'd intended, but he looked unfazed. ââ¬Å"She's a good friend. And I believe in her philosophies. She wants both our worlds left intact. So do I. She can be a good friend to you too.â⬠ââ¬Å"Is she strong enough to come over here?â⬠He nodded. ââ¬Å"If she'll do it, I'll meet her. I'm not really keen on going over there anytime soon.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll tell her.â⬠He took a few steps out the door, and this time I called to him. ââ¬Å"Heyâ⬠¦Kiyo.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah?â⬠ââ¬Å"All these people andâ⬠¦things are coming after me because they think I'm going to be Damien's mother or somethingâ⬠¦but seriously, do you actually think any of it's true? Do you really believe this prophecy could happen? Roland ââ¬â my stepdad ââ¬â says prophecies are a dime a dozen in the Otherworld.â⬠ââ¬Å"They are,â⬠Kiyo said slowly, a slight wrinkle between his eyes as he thought. ââ¬Å"And most don't come true. But a lot do, a lot more than you'd think growing up here. The thing about prophecies isâ⬠¦well, people sometimes read the wrong things into them. Or, in trying to avert them, they only make the prophecy come true.â⬠I shivered, half-wishing he would have just said prophecies were a bunch of crap. ââ¬Å"You mean like Oedipus? How his father got rid of him to beat that prophecy?â⬠ââ¬Å"Exactly. Doing that only ended up making it happen.â⬠Seeing my dark look, he smiled. ââ¬Å"Hey, don't worry about it. I told you most don't come true. And besides, you're not trying to have kids, so there's nothing to worry about. Concentrate on the now.â⬠I gave him a faltering smile back, hoping he was right. ââ¬Å"Thanks.â⬠He held my eyes for a few seconds before stepping out of the room, only to return a moment later with my burnt mirror. He set it on the dresser, regarding it with displeasure. ââ¬Å"Sorry I wasn't here sooner.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hey,â⬠I said, mustering some bravado, ââ¬Å"I told you I can take care of myself.â⬠Those dark eyes flashed. ââ¬Å"I know. You're a dangerous woman.â⬠I wasn't entirely sure if he referred to my fighting abilities or something else. When he was gone, I lay back in bed with a sigh, thinking I might not move for a week. Things just got weirder and weirder around here. Suddenly I felt a faint pressure build in the room. I sat up straight. Red eyes peered at me from a dim corner. ââ¬Å"Volusian? I didn't summon you.â⬠ââ¬Å"You gave us permission to come if we acquired information.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. I suppose I did. I didn't really think any of you would actually listen to me. What's up?â⬠ââ¬Å"I've come to tell you Otherworldly interest in you has increased.â⬠I stared at him stupidly a moment, then pointed to the bloody athame I'd used on the Gray Man. ââ¬Å"Gee, you think?â⬠He shook his head. ââ¬Å"More than these scattered attacks. Before, others were interested in you simply because of your heritage. Now, after seeing youâ⬠¦some are more excited still. They find youâ⬠¦attractive.â⬠I could tell the concept baffled him. ââ¬Å"Great. Now I'm fertile and hot. So what's this mean? Should I be expecting daily attacks?â⬠ââ¬Å"More likeâ⬠¦organized attacks.â⬠ââ¬Å"Groups?â⬠ââ¬Å"Worse.â⬠ââ¬Å"Worse than a group of guys trying to have sex with me? How?â⬠ââ¬Å"For now, only creatures and gentry who can cross over in physical or elemental form will try. But we are weeks from Beltane, mistress. When the doors openâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Jesus,â⬠I breathed. ââ¬Å"Everything with a dick is going to come looking for me.â⬠He didn't bother with a response. But when I said nothing more, he asked, ââ¬Å"What will you do?â⬠ââ¬Å"What do you think? The same as I've been doing. I'll fight them off.â⬠He stayed quiet, but I could feel his disapproval. ââ¬Å"What else do you expect me to do? Submit?â⬠ââ¬Å"I expect you to not sit around and wait for the inevitable. You might as well be from one of the bride-by-capture societies. Always being on the defensive will get you nowhere; eventually someone will overpower you.â⬠I laughed without really finding anything funny. ââ¬Å"So, what, I go on the offensive? Head over and just start taking on random gentry and spirits?â⬠ââ¬Å"No. You start claiming your heritage. They attack you because you let them, because you kick at one and then wait for the next. You make yourself a victim, yet you are Storm King's daughter. In his day, his rule stretched farther than any of the current monarchs'. His kingdom may be gone now, but his legacy makes you royalty. If you acted like it, they wouldn't attack you so brazenly.â⬠ââ¬Å"I doubt they'd give up wanting to father Storm King's heir just because I started calling myself a queen or a princess.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, they'd still want you, but they would go about it differently. They'd approach you with respect. They would try to woo you. Now they only treat you with disdain. They treat you like the victim ââ¬â the piece of flesh ââ¬â that you have let yourself become.â⬠I didn't really like the thought of a bunch of gentry bringing me flowers and chocolate, but I liked it better than rape. ââ¬Å"Yeah, but joking aside, I can't just go in there and say, ââ¬ËHey, I'm Storm King's daughter, treat me with respect.'â⬠ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠he said dryly, ââ¬Å"it would be a start. However, you will drive home your connection to him most when you stop relying on those.â⬠He pointed at my weapons. ââ¬Å"They make you human.â⬠ââ¬Å"I am human.â⬠ââ¬Å"You are half-human. If you want them to respect you as one of the gentry, you need to remind them of who you are. You need to draw on the power within you, on your father's legacy.â⬠I thought about what Roland had said, about how he had purposely buried my power. Faint flickers of the vision came back to me, how I'd reached for power just before it ended. ââ¬Å"No. I won't use gentry magic.â⬠Volusian sighed. He pointed to the burnt mirror. ââ¬Å"Mistress, why did you use that as a weapon?â⬠ââ¬Å"Because a Gray Man caught me unarmed.â⬠ââ¬Å"Had you been in full control of your magic, you would have needed no weapons. You could have destroyed him as soon as he crossed your threshold.â⬠I tugged the sheet up and wrapped my arms around myself. The thought of power like that terrified meâ⬠¦and yet deep down, I saw its appeal. I didn't like being defenseless at twenty-six any more than I had at twelve. Volusian sensed this. ââ¬Å"Your true nature knows I am right. It longs to be realized.â⬠ââ¬Å"If I give in to this nature, I'll become gentry.â⬠ââ¬Å"You'll never be fully gentry or human. That you must accept. You must simply take the best of each.â⬠ââ¬Å"Even if I wanted to do thisâ⬠ââ¬â I swallowed, still uncertain if I wanted the kind of power he was talking about ââ¬â ââ¬Å"I wouldn't know the first thing about tapping it. Roland can't teach me about gentry magic.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then you'll have to find a gentry teacher.â⬠ââ¬Å"Where will I find one who won't try to rape me first? I don't really have any friends over there.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't you?â⬠He looked at me expectantly. ââ¬Å"You mean Dorian.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of all the rulers in the Otherworld right now, only he has ordered his people to leave you alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Seriously? But why? He told me himself he wants to see Storm King's invasion happen.â⬠ââ¬Å"Most believe he gave the order simply because he wants you for himself. I, however, suspect he also probably acts out of some ridiculous sense of altruism ââ¬â and his own pride. Of course, some of his people won't heed the warning, but you will find less of them attacking you than others. Like Aeson and his followers, for example.â⬠Apparently Aeson was alive after all. I'd forgotten to ask Kiyo about that in the wake of all the other drama. ââ¬Å"Stillâ⬠¦Dorian made the attempt, huh?â⬠I thought back to my encounter with him. Of all the gentry, he had been the one I almost felt comfortable with, which was startling, considering how odd he was. And he had helped me. ââ¬Å"But I know he wants to have sex with me too. He didn't really make that a secret.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course he does. Which is why he'll help you. He'll help you because he thinks it'll bring you to his bed. And because being close to you will impress his rivals and allies alike. They'll think you're lovers, even if you aren't. He'll like that.â⬠You'll return to me. You won't be able to help yourself. I shivered, and Volusian continued: ââ¬Å"You'll benefit as well. Go to him as an equal, and he will treat you as one. His attitude will go a long way to influence others.â⬠ââ¬Å"If I do this, I'll have come a long way from being feared by the gentry to cozying up with one for political reasons. That's quite a leap.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not really. Not if you consider how far you've come since your trip to Aeson's.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's an understatement.â⬠I rubbed my eyes. ââ¬Å"I don't know, Volusian. I still don't know if I'm ready to approach Dorian. I need to think about it.â⬠ââ¬Å"As my mistress wishes. But I would advise you to think fast. Decide before Beltane. Siding with Dorian will offer both magical and political benefits.â⬠ââ¬Å"Noted. Thanks for the update. And the advice.â⬠He bowed, and I stood up to send him back. Before I did, I couldn't help messing with him. I was still naked, after all. ââ¬Å"Hey, Volusian, you haven't been checking me out, have you?â⬠He gave me his trademark bland stare. ââ¬Å"I assure you, mistress, the only allure your bare flesh has for me is to remind me how easy it will be to slice open.â⬠I laughed. If not for the fact he was actually serious, he'd be so much fun.
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